Damn you Toenail Fungus!!

Okay so I developed a lil fungus!! So on my checkup with my doc I asked if there was something he could give me for it. He said there was a med that I could take. So I am like Cool! Well then he tells me that before I can take it I have to have a blood test done to check my liver, okay no problem..... Boy was I SO wrong about that...

So after 3 weeks of getting blood test, ultrasounds,I found out that I have Gallstones. So today after meeting with the surgeon....I found out that I have been having small attacks that I did not realize were going on. So the surgeon and I decided that I will have to have my Gallbladder removed.... AAAGGHHHH

I am really not looking forward to this, but I guess it will all be better in the long run. The Dr. really doesn't want me to have a full blown attack, and really neither do I. So in two weeks we will have the surgery. I am having it done quickly so that I can be all recovered for the Michigan Race in August!!

Sunsets, Life..........

Last night I seen the most wonderful Sunset! So of course I took some pictures of it and of some of my beautiful flowers in my garden. There has been so much going on in the last week with Grandpa passing,and just other things in life. I really don't know what to say or not to say.... I just feel like I have no control of what is going on.. I have to go to the Dr's on Tuesday for some test but I really don't feel like I can talk about my fears. I sit here and my Hubby is the most wonderful person that I know, but I just don't know, well scratch that I am sure he knows how I feel about not knowing. I guess that I just don't really know how to express my feeling's about things. Everyone thinks that I am the strong one. The one who knows what to do or what to say..Don't get me wrong I can be a total BITCH..But I also think that I can be the most caring person especially for my friends and family. It is really hard for me to let my friends and family know that I am afraid of things. It is just really hard for me to express those feelings... I am scared to go the Dr's on Tuesday I am afraid of what he is going to tell me.... I just don't know what to do. But the reason of this whole blog was for the beautiful Sunset that I seen yesterday after all the storms that we have had... So enjoy the picture..

Grandpa Update from last night.....

All I can say is that as of 4:30 today Grandpa passed away. I will write more later..May he rest in peace...

My Grandpa...

Today I got a call from my Mom telling that my Grandpa wasn't doing so good. I have the most wonderful hubby EVER! When I told him what was going on he wanted to leave work right then to go see him, but since I know that when he leaves work he doesn't get paid I told him we would go when I get off from work. So we got home from work and left to drive an hour to see him. My Aunt doesn't think that he will make it to the weekend. Well what I saw tonight was just so sad. He no longer looks like the Grandpa that I spent Summers with blowing bubbles. Heck he doesn't look like my Grandpa a year ago. He kept trying to talk but just couldn't. I told him that I loved him and he tried to say it back but couldn't. I told him that I know that he loves me too.

I have been very lucky in my life. I grew up with all of my grandparents. I also had 2 Great Grandma's and one Great Grandpa. A lot of people I know didn't have Grandparents. I really hate to see how he has wasted away in the last year. I hate to say Good Bye to him, but I don't want him so suffer anymore. My Grandma died on New Years Day 2006, I think he is just ready to be with her.

What is really weird is that for the last couple of weeks I have been having dreams of my Grandma. And in a couple of them she was telling me that she was dying and that Grandpa would die after her. So I really don't know if she was telling me that it was time for him to go also. Or if deep in my heart I just know it is time for him to go. I am thinking that I just know deep down that it is just time to let him go. But I kinda like the idea that she would come and visit and let me know what was going on.. I don't want him to go but I think that is kind of selfish on my part, I know that I would never want to suffer if it was me, I would want my family to just let me go.



This is my Grandma & Grandpa's wedding picture from 1945. Sorry if it looks bad but I took a picture of a picture with my phone. I just hope that Hubby and I can be as happy as they were for as long as they were.. I Love you Grandma, I Love you Grandpa!!

Happy 4th Birthday Karsyn!!

Happy Birthday Karsyn!!